Ethereal
by LittleLinor
Summary: She just cannot understand how Kalas could have taken it for granted. Xehla/Daimon, written for the International Day of Femslash


Written for the International Day of Femslash (and late on here, though I did post on time on livejournal)

Long story short, I was at a loss for what to write for IDF this year. I didn't have inspiration for ToS or FE, hadn't finished FF12, wasn't sure of myself enough for Tales of Hearts...

So I wanted to write some Baten Kaitos, but had no good pairing handy...

And then someone mentioned the number of Kalas/Spirit fics on here and I went HAHA.

And this came out.

Please not that I am here going with the theory in which Daimon is indeed the spirit in BK1. There are some hints for this in BKO, and it's WAY easier to write it this way. And avoids the self-insertion. But mostly it gives me a personality for her.

Ahem.

SHOULD I GET FLAMES FOR THE PAIRING, I WILL BE DEPRESSED AND AMUSED. Depressed at the lameness of it, amused at the fact that someone bothered. Honestly, if you're scared by the idea of a completely platonical lesbian not-quite-relationship, there's a "back" button.

Disclaimer: I own neither BK nor BKO, and none of the characters either. Woe.

Warnings: Spoilers for both games. Nothing graphic.

Dedicated to No and Mandy.

* * *

**Ethereal**

_Are you sure it's the best place to camp? _

Xehla smiled a little, sadness and loneliness kept at bay by the warmth in her eyes.

"I didn't want to go back to Cebalrai. The people of the shop will ask after Kalas... It's easier to face monsters than them." She blew on the small flames to keep them fed. "Besides, I feel safe here."

_Because of Gram and Leon?_

The girl chuckled.

"It's stupid isn't it? But here, I can nearly feel them watching over me."

_What, am I not doing a fine job of it? You hurt me, Xehla my dear. _

This time it was a real laugh, louder than you'd have expected from the rather delicate-looking girl. The fire was finally catching for good and she sat back, looking at her surroundings.

"Don't be so dramatic. You know I'd trust you with my life. And more, were you corporeal."

_That sounds lovely_.

There was humour in the internal voice, and Xehla felt like laughing again, thankful for the relief. This hunt for her friends, after losing Kalas to darkness, was wearing her down, eroding her strength and resistance. That day's search had been unfruitful, leading them only to a deserted tear in the fabric of their dimension, and she hadn't had the heart to go back. Here, alone with the memories of the soldiers who had saved her and with the spirit who shared her heart's comfort, she felt safe, nearly at ease. Daimon's touch on her soul was like an embrace, and often she would relax as if to fall into waiting arms, only to remember right on time that Daimon couldn't catch her body.

She just couldn't understand how Kalas could have taken this for granted.

This safety, this love -how could he just accept it as if it were nothing? Throw it away as if it didn't matter? Xehla had grown surrounded by love, from her mother and nursemaids and people, and yet the feeling of a loving soul bound to hers was completely out of range. It had been overwhelming at first, and still was now, to an extent, and she doubted that she would ever be immune to it, should they stay bonded over time. It was too intimate, and she would have felt uncomfortable had she not trusted Daimon completely. Instead all she felt was warmth and affection.

A feeling of embarrassment brushing at her consciousness told her that her last thought had probably leaked through. She was still new at communicating with the spirit, and her shielding was unstable and incomplete.

She didn't care, though. After Kalas's betrayal, she would rather lose some of her privacy than have Daimon feel alienated from the person who shared her soul once again.

"Does it bother you?"

_Not really… it's just new. And flattering, I guess. _She paused. _Kalas was a friend_.

"And now he isn't?"

_That's not what I meant. I want to get him back just as much as you do. He needs us. _

"Then it is me who isn't."

… _'not only' rather than 'not' _

Xehla looked into the fire, breathing deeply and evenly. Like a gaze on her back, she could feel Daimon's presence, and it was tinted with curiosity and a bit of worry.

_Is something wrong?_

"No."

_And yet you relaxed_.

Xehla nearly turned to look at her, catching herself on time. There was no point. She'd have to get used to it.

"Isn't being relaxed a sign that all is well?"

_When you're happy you tense with joy. It's when you let go of that tonus that you're down._

"…were you observing me?"

_When you follow someone without rest, you have time to be observant. I know more about Kalas's reactions than he does. Even Mizuti can be readable, as surprising as it seems. And you, of course. You're interesting, I might add._

"How so?"

_You rarely react in ways one would expect. It's taken me a lot of time_. Daimon paused, as if pondering something. I_You haven't answered. What's wrong?_

"I feel guilty."

There was no answer, but she could feel the question in the spirit's aura.

"I hate it that Kalas has to go through this… and it must have been hard for you too. And yet…" She closed her eyes. "Yet I can't help but be happy, in a way. If things had turned out differently, I would never have gotten this close to you."

With her eyes closed, her perception of Daimon was heightened. She felt the successive waves -surprise, then some pleasure, and a slight hint of embarrassment. Xehla wondered how often she had been treated as a human being rather than an ethereal power. As far as she could see, Kalas had been standing between the two possibilities, admitting Daimon's feelings as a person but still expecting her to not be affected by them when it came down to it. To Xehla, however, Daimon was more than human: her lack of a body's stability made her even more easily affected by emotion. Her mind was clear, safe from the risk of hormone or injury-induced breakdown, but far from a cold machina, Daimon felt like magic, whirlwind of emotions and thoughts that shaped themselves to reach the corporeal.

_I… don't worry about it. It's better to take happiness where we can catch it. What is done is done, and there is no point in moping. It's for the best, really. Rather than despair, we should take what happiness we can find, learn whatever lessons time has given us, and use it all to move forwards._

Xehla stayed silent through her tirade, listening to the voice in her head and heart and letting her breathing align with its rhythm.

_Together we are strong. We will save the others._

"And then…"

_And then Kalas. He might have turned away, but I know him. He's waiting. He's afraid, but deep inside he's waiting for you to come back and save him._

"He has a high opinion of my capacities, then."

It was nearly a caress, the ghostly feeling of tenderness grazing her neck, and warmth enveloped her.

_He sees nothing that isn't there._ And before Xehla could finish her small chuckle- _Believe me._

"I do", she said, grasping her hands in her lap and wishing she could touch those that seemed to be enveloping her shoulders. The answering happiness made her glow with pride, and hope for the future -them both, their friends, Kalas, and the world.

"I do."


End file.
